dogberts top secret management handbook

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Dogbert S Top Secret Management Handbook

Author : Scott Adams
ISBN : 9780887308819
Genre : Humor
File Size : 63. 51 MB
Format : PDF, Docs
Download : 229
Read : 1329

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Behind the closed doors of corporate management lurks a manifesto so devious, so insidious, and of such diabolic power, it has the ability to transform normal human beings into paradigm–spewing zombies. Its purpose: to help bosses stick it to their employees. Its author: none other than Dogbert, the canine corporate consultant out to rule the world. All too often, new managers make mistakes such as rewarding good work with good pay, communicating clearly and improving departmental efficiency. Dogbert shows that this could have devastating consequences: Employees begin to expect fair treatment and compensation, productive workers show results (making managers look bad by comparison), and the department's future budget allotment could be decreased because it spends only what it needs. Drawing from his years of experience tormenting Dilbert and advising his boss, our Machiavellian mutt uses pithy essays, illustrated by scores of comic strips, to teach neophyte managers such potent practices as: The power of verbal instructions: Sound like a boss while maintaining complete deniability! Empty promises of promotion: all the motivational benefits, none of the costs! Pretending to care: Learn how to hear without listening! Incentives: Inspire employees by giving them worthless knickknacks! Once again firmly establishing Scott Adams as the spokesman for the absurdities of the workplace (and Dogbert as the guru of sticking it to the masses), Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook is the perfect gift for all cubicle dwellers and their bosses.

Dogbert S Top Secret Management Handbook

Author : Scott Adams
ISBN : 0887308813
Genre : Humor
File Size : 63. 84 MB
Format : PDF
Download : 653
Read : 322

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Behind the closed doors of corporate management lurks a manifesto so devious, so insidious, and of such diabolic power, it has the ability to transform normal human beings into paradigm–spewing zombies. Its purpose: to help bosses stick it to their employees. Its author: none other than Dogbert, the canine corporate consultant out to rule the world. All too often, new managers make mistakes such as rewarding good work with good pay, communicating clearly and improving departmental efficiency. Dogbert shows that this could have devastating consequences: Employees begin to expect fair treatment and compensation, productive workers show results (making managers look bad by comparison), and the department's future budget allotment could be decreased because it spends only what it needs. Drawing from his years of experience tormenting Dilbert and advising his boss, our Machiavellian mutt uses pithy essays, illustrated by scores of comic strips, to teach neophyte managers such potent practices as: The power of verbal instructions: Sound like a boss while maintaining complete deniability! Empty promises of promotion: all the motivational benefits, none of the costs! Pretending to care: Learn how to hear without listening! Incentives: Inspire employees by giving them worthless knickknacks! Once again firmly establishing Scott Adams as the spokesman for the absurdities of the workplace (and Dogbert as the guru of sticking it to the masses), Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook is the perfect gift for all cubicle dwellers and their bosses.

Dogbert S Top Secret Management Handbook

Author : Scott Adams
ISBN : 0887307884
Genre : Humor
File Size : 28. 10 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
Download : 541
Read : 1284

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The creator of Dilbert, the fastest-growing comic strip in America (syndicated in more than 900 newspapers and read by more than 60 million people), presents a hilariously biting compilation of cartoons that expose the absurdities of corporate management. Dilbert is sweeping the nation. The San Francisco Chronicle dubbed him "the cartoon hero of the workplace," saying that the strip "has its finger on the pulse of the '90s white-collar workplace." Now online, it is one of the hottest Web sites on the Internet, and more than a million copies of the Dilbert cartoon books have been sold. In this latest cartoon compilation, Dilbert's canine sidekick, the Machiavellian Dogbert, presents a breakthrough management manual to help bosses stick it to their employees. All too often, new managers make mistakes like rewarding good work with good pay, communicating clearly and improving departmental efficiency. Dogbert shows that this could have devastating results: Employees begin to expect fair treatment and compensation, productive workers show results (making the managers look bad by comparison) and the department's future budget allotment could be decreased because it spends only what it needs. Drawn from years of experience tormenting Dilbert and advising his boss, Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook uses pithy essays, whose points are illustrated with hundreds of comic strips, to drive home the lost cause of the employee in the workplace. It is the perfect gift for bosses and office workers everywhere.

The Dilbert Future

Author : Scott Adams
ISBN : 9780887309106
Genre : Humor
File Size : 44. 70 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
Download : 281
Read : 779

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Step aside, Bill Gates! Here comes today′s real technology guru and his totally original, laugh-out-loud New York Times bestseller that looks at the approaching new millennium and boldly predicts: more stupidity ahead. In The Dilbert Principle and Dogbert′s Top Secret Management Handbook, Scott Adams skewered the absurdities of the corporate world. Now he takes the next logical step, turning his keen analytical focus on how human greed, stupidity and horniness will shape the future. Featuring the same irresistible amalgam of essays and cartoons that made Adams previous works so singularly entertaining, this uproariously funny, dead-on-target tome offers half-truthful, half-farcical predictions that push all of today′s hot buttons - from business and technology to society and government. Children - they are our future, so we′re pretty much hosed. Tip: Grab what you can while they′re still too little to stop us. Human Potential - we′ll finally learn to use the 90 percent of the brain we don′t use today, and find out that there wasn′t anything in that part. Computers - Technology and homeliness will combine to form a powerful type of birth control. In The Dilbert Principle and Dogbert′s Top Secret Management Handbook, Scott Adams skewered the absurdities of the corporate world. Now he takes the next logical step, turning his keen analytical focus on how human greed, stupidity and horniness will shape the future. Featuring the same irresistible amalgam of essays and cartoons that made Adams previous works so singularly entertaining, this uproariously

Dilbert And The Way Of The Weasel

Author : Scott Adams
ISBN : 006052149X
Genre : Business & Economics
File Size : 82. 70 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
Download : 99
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Back after a four–year hiatus, New York Times bestselling author Scott Adams presents an outrageous look at work, home and everyday life in his new book, Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel. Building on Dilbert's theory that 'All people are idiots', Adams now says, 'All people are idiots. And they are also weasels.' Just ask anyone who worked at Enron. In this book, Adams takes a look into the Weasel Zone, the giant grey area between good moral behaviour and outright felonious activities. In the Weasel Zone, where most people reside, everything is misleading, but not exactly a lie. Building on his popular comic strip, Adams looks into work, home and everyday life and exposes the way of the weasel for everyone to see. With appearances from all the regular comic strip characters, Adams and Dilbert are at the top of their game – master satirists who expose the truth while making us laugh our heads off.

God S Debris

Author : Scott Adams
ISBN : 9781449459840
Genre : Religion
File Size : 54. 54 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
Download : 187
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God's Debris is the first non-Dilbert, non-humor book by best-selling author Scott Adams. Adams describes God's Debris as a thought experiment wrapped in a story. It's designed to make your brain spin around inside your skull. Imagine that you meet a very old man who—you eventually realize—knows literally everything. Imagine that he explains for you the great mysteries of life: quantum physics, evolution, God, gravity, light psychic phenomenon, and probability—in a way so simple, so novel, and so compelling that it all fits together and makes perfect sense. What does it feel like to suddenly understand everything? You may not find the final answer to the big question, but God's Debris might provide the most compelling vision of reality you will ever read. The thought experiment is this: Try to figure out what's wrong with the old man's explanation of reality. Share the book with your smart friends, then discuss it later while enjoying a beverage. It has no violence or sex, but the ideas are powerful and not appropriate for readers under fourteen.

The Dilbert Principle

Author : Scott Adams
ISBN : 0752272209
Genre : Business
File Size : 63. 25 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
Download : 458
Read : 1031

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You loved the comic strip; now read the business advice. Or should that be anti-business advice? Scott Adams provides the hapless victim of re-engineering, rightsizing and Total Quality Management some strategies for fighting back, er, coping. Forced to work long hours, with no hope of a raise? Adams offers tips on maintaining parity in compensation. Along the way, Adams explains what ISO 9000 really is and assesses the irresistibility of female engineers.

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