go the fk to sleep

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Go The F K To Sleep

Author : Adam Mansbach
ISBN : 9781921758843
Genre : Humor
File Size : 83. 30 MB
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Go the Fk to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, California Book Award-winning author Adam Mansbach’s verses perfectly capture the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. In the process, they open up a conversation about parenting, granting us permission to admit our frustrations, and laugh at their absurdity. With illustrations by Ricardo Cortés, Go the Fuck to Sleep is beautiful, subversive and pants-wettingly funny—a book for parents new, old and expectant. You probably should not read it to your children. The cats nestle close to their kittens, The lambs have laid down with the sheep. You’re cozy and warm in your bed, my dear. Please go the fk to sleep. The windows are dark in the town, child. The whales huddle down in the deep. I’ll read you one very last book if you swear You’ll go the fk to sleep. The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest And the creatures who crawl, run, and creep. I know you’re not thirsty. That’s bullshit. Stop lying. Lie the fk down, my darling, and sleep.

Go The Fuck To Sleep

Author : Adam Mansbach
ISBN : 9780857862662
Genre : Humor
File Size : 53. 60 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
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Go the Fuck to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate and refreshingly honest, it captures the familiar and unspoken tribulations of putting your child to bed for the night. Colourfully illustrated and hilariously funny, this is a breath of fresh air for parents new, old, and expectant*. (*You should probably not read this to your children.)

Go The Fuck To Sleep

Author :
ISBN : 9781617753480
Genre : Humor
File Size : 20. 61 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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"Nothing has driven home a certain truth about my generation, which is approaching the apex of its childbearing years, quite like this." --The New Yorker "A parenting zeitgeist" --Washington Post "A hilarious take on that age-old problem: getting the beloved child to go to sleep." --National Public Radio "A new Bible for weary parents" --New York Times "Resonates powerfully with almost everyone" --Boston Globe "Go the F*** to Sleep challenges stereotypes, opens up prototypes, and acknowledges that shared sense of failure that comes to all parents who weary of ever getting their darling(s) to sleep and briefly resuming the illusion of a life of their own." --Midwest Book Review Go the F*** to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don't always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, California Book Award-winning author Adam Mansbach's verses perfectly capture the familiar--and unspoken--tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. In the process, they open up a conversation about parenting, granting us permission to admit our frustrations, and laugh at their absurdity. With illustrations by Ricardo Cortes, Go the F*** to Sleep is beautiful, subversive, and pants-wettingly funny--a book for parents new, old, and expectant. You probably should not read it to your children. Seriously, Just Go to Sleep, a children's book inspired by Go the F*** to Sleep and appropriate for kids of all ages, is forthcoming from Akashic Books in April 2012 and available NOW for pre-order.

You Have To Fucking Eat

Author : Adam Mansbach
ISBN : 9781782116370
Genre : Humor
File Size : 84. 47 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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From the author of the international best seller GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP comes a book about the other great parental frustration: getting your little angel to eat something that even vaguely resembles a normal meal. Profane, loving and deeply cathartic, You Have to Fucking Eat breaks the code of child-rearing silence, giving mums and dads new, old, grand- and expectant a much-needed chance to laugh about a universal problem. You probably shouldn't read it to your children.

F U Penguin

Author : Matthew Gasteier
ISBN : 9780345527653
Genre : Humor
File Size : 86. 9 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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Attention, all you clumsy pandas, lovable puffins, huggable bunnies, and penguins that elicit ooohs and aaahs: The jig is up! We have lived under your furry fists for too long. There is a cute and present danger lurking out there–in the wild, in the zoos, and sometimes even in our very own homes. Spurred on by the Cute Industrial Complex, these cuddly animals have taken over blockbuster films, inspirational posters, and computer desktops everywhere, further weakening the innocent civilians who are beguiled by these fuzzy frauds. But you are stronger than them, aren’t you? Those soft bellies and wet noses are no match for you–and their free ride has just come to an end. F U, Penguin is the rallying cry for those who choose to fight these power-hungry cute-mongers. Loaded with color photographs and hilarious commentary, this book will have you laughing out loud while it simultaneously saves you from the tragic fate of tossing yarn with big-eyed kittens and bottle-nursing baby pandas forever. ___________________________ "Finally, a book for the rest of us! Most animals go about our business without playing to the audience like the elitists exposed in these chapters.I wasn't sure how many more times I could hear about those great penguins and pandas and kittens before I started eating people... well, more people, anyway."—Jerry the Shark "Penguins killed my parents, and they would not hesitate to kill me. I thank the Crustacean God for Matthew Gasteier, a true saint and a decent human being in a world filled with heartless penguin accomplices."—Dennis the Krill "It's all true. We're the worst."—Anonymous Penguin "The average dolphin is far beyond this level of vulgarity, but I could see how this would be a very enjoyable book for humans. I should remember to hand these out to some of my slower relatives at the common ancestor reunion."—Edward the Dolphin "Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this style of book is not something we are currently looking for. However, we wish you the best of luck with your human publishers!"—Danielle the Bear, Editor-in-Chief, Random Cave Publishing

The F It List

Author : Julie Halpern
ISBN : 9781250025654
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 49. 72 MB
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After her father's accidental death, Alex refocuses on her family life only to learn that her friend, Becca, is dying of cancer, a situation that compels Alex to help Becca complete a bucket list.

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F Ck

Author : Mark Manson
ISBN : 9780062457738
Genre : Self-Help
File Size : 83. 17 MB
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New York Times Bestseller In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

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