has anyone seen my pants

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Has Anyone Seen My Pants

Author : Sarah Colonna
ISBN : 9781476771922
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 61. 34 MB
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The best-selling author of Life as I Blow It documents her haphazard journey through America and Mexico as she embarks on crying jags in nail salons, mother-daughter road trips, Iowan casinos and single-shaming resorts. Original.

Has Anyone Seen My Pants

Author : Sarah Colonna
ISBN : 9781476771939
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 30. 85 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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New York Times bestselling author of Life as I Blow It Sarah Colonna is back with a hilarious, honest look at life in her late thirties—in all its messy, pants-missing glory. How does a gal with a successful career, great friends, and a razor-sharp wit find herself wandering pants-less through the hallways of a casino hotel in Iowa on New Year’s Eve? Ask Sarah Colonna. Has Anyone Seen My Pants? is a laugh-out-loud trip around America (and Mexico!) with Sarah as she braves crying in nail salons, mother-daughter road trips, Iowan casinos, and single-shaming resorts. From a fling-gone-wrong to friend breakups and a new romance, Sarah’s signature wit and sharp observations take you on a journey at once so deviously funny and surprisingly compassionate that it might just steal your heart—not to mention your pants.

Life As I Blow It

Author : Sarah Colonna
ISBN : 9780345528384
Genre : Humor
File Size : 48. 93 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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In this wickedly funny and irreverent memoir, Chelsea Lately writer and comedian Sarah Colonna opens up about love, life, and pursuing her dreams . . . and then screwing it all up. Sarah believes we all struggle to grow up. Sometimes we want to have fun, not take things too seriously, and have that fourth margarita. Other times we would like to get married, stay in, order Chinese food, and have a responsible, secure life. From her formative years in small-town Arkansas to a later career of dates, drinks, and questionable day jobs, Colonna attempts to reconcile her responsible side with her fun-loving side. Sometimes this pans out, and sometimes she finds herself in Mexico handing out her phone number to anyone who calls her pretty. She moves to Los Angeles to pursue acting, but for years is forced to hone her bartending skills; she wants a serious boyfriend, but won’t give up nights at the bar with her friends. She tries to behave like an adult, but can’t seem to stop acting like a frat boy. In the end, she discovers that there doesn’t have to be just one or the other. And if there’s one thing Colonna has learned from her many missteps, it’s that hindsight is always 100 proof. Includes a Foreword by Chelsea Handler From the Trade Paperback edition.

Man Up

Author : Ross Mathews
ISBN : 9781455501793
Genre : Humor
File Size : 30. 35 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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As a young kid growing up in a farm town, Ross Mathews might as well have wished for a pet unicorn or a calorie-free cookie tree to grow in his front yard. Either of those far-fetched fantasies would have been more likely to come true than his real dream: working in television in Hollywood, California. Seriously, that stuff just doesn't happen to people like Ross. But guess what. It totally did. Now, with his first book, Ross takes us inside his journey as a super-fan, revealing the most embarrassing and hilarious moments of his small-town life and big-city adventures. From learning to swear like a hardened trucker to that time in high school when had to face down the most frightening opponent of all (his girlfriend's lady bits), Ross holds nothing back. Oh, then there's his surprisingly shady past involving the cutest pair of plus-sized women's pajama bottoms, deliciously dangerous pot butter, and embezzled sandwiches. And, of course, how he's managed to turn an obsession with pop-culture into one-on-one interactions with celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow, Tiffani-Amber Theissen, Madonna, Michelle Kwan, and countless more without ever having a single restraining order issued against him. Infused with Ross's trademark humor, unique voice, and total honesty, MAN UP! is a mission statement for anyone who doesn't fit the mold. His hasn't been the most traditional way to build a career in Hollywood, but Ross has somehow managed to make his mark without ever compromising who he is. He is as serious about this as he is about Golden Girls trivia: You don't need to change who you are to achieve your dreams (although there's nothing wrong with a makeover every now and then). You just need to Man Up!

My Inappropriate Life

Author : Heather McDonald
ISBN : 9781451672244
Genre : Humor
File Size : 34. 86 MB
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In this hilarious account of her venture into motherhood, New York Times bestselling author and Chelsea Lately writer and star Heather McDonald explains her outrageous attempts to have it all—her way. Following her laugh-out-loud New York Times bestseller You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again, Chelsea Lately writer and star Heather McDonald moves on from dating to motherhood with this new collection of outrageous essays chronicling her attempt to have it all—her way. This self-proclaimed “Real Housewife of Woodland Hills” is determined to achieve A-list status (thus expanding her entourage beyond her three school-age children and a househusband who is infuriatingly bad at collecting neighborhood gossip) and to defeat (or at least be accepted by) the mean neighborhood moms who judge her for taking her kids to a stripper pool party in Vegas. It’s a lot to juggle when she’s also battling Chelsea Handler and coworkers for the crudest practical jokes (just ask her about that “free” Vera Wang dress). . . .

I Like You Just The Way I Am

Author : Jenny Mollen
ISBN : 9781466838581
Genre : Humor
File Size : 44. 39 MB
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A New York Times Best Seller! By the actress, writer, and one of the funniest women on Twitter, an outrageous, hysterical memoir of acting on impulse, plotting elaborate hoaxes, and refusing to acknowledge boundaries in any form Jenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free shit and she doesn't). She doesn't want much from life. Just to be loved—by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends' dogs, her husband, her husband's ex-girlfriends, her husband's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends, etc. Some people might call that impulse crazy, but isn't "crazy" really just a word boring people use to describe fun people? (And Jenny is really, really fun, you guys!) In these pages, you'll find stories of Jenny at her most genuine, whether it's stalking her therapist (because he knows everything about her so shouldn't she get to know everything about him?); throwing a bachelorette party so bad that one of the guests is suspected dead; or answering the eternal question, Would your best friend blow your husband on a car ride to dinner if she didn't know you were hiding in the backseat? I Like You Just the Way I Am is about not doing the right thing—about indulging your inner crazy-person. It is Jenny when she's not trying to impress anyone or come across as a responsible, level-headed member of society. With any luck it will make you better acquainted with who you really are and what you really want. Which, let's be honest, is most likely someone else's email password.

Live Fast Die Hot

Author : Jenny Mollen
ISBN : 9780385540704
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 88. 34 MB
Format : PDF, Docs
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*A NEW YORK TIMES HUMOR BESTSELLER* By the author of I Like You Just the Way I Am and a frequent Chelsea contributor, an outrageous collection of personal stories about motherhood, responsibility, and other potential disasters Jenny Mollen is a writer and actress living in New York. Until two years ago, her lifewas exciting, sexy, a little eccentric, and one hundred percent impulsive. She had a husband who embraced her crazy—who understood her need to occasionally stalk around the house in his ex-girlfriend’s old beach caftans and to invite their drug dealer to Passover seder (so he wouldn’t feel like they were using him only for drugs). Then they had their son, Sid, and overnight, Jenny was forced to grow up: to be responsible, to brush her hair, to listen to her voicemail. Live Fast Die Hot is a collection of stories about what happens when you realize that some things are more important than crafting the perfect tweet. It follows Jenny to Morocco, where she embarks on a quest to prove to herself that she can travel alone without reenacting a plotline from Taken. It shows her confronting demons—most of them from childhood, a few from the spirit realm. And it culminates in Peru, where Jenny decides that maybe the cure for her anxiety as a mom lies at the bottom of a cup of ayahuasca. Hilarious, outlandish, and surprisingly affecting, Live Fast Die Hot reminds you that even if you aren’t cut out for parenting, at least you can be better at it than your mother.

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