sht my dad says

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Sh T My Dad Says

Author : Justin Halpern
ISBN : 9780062002945
Genre : Humor
File Size : 33. 20 MB
Format : PDF, Docs
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“This book is ridiculously hilarious, and makes my father look like a normal member of society.” —Chelsea Handler “Read this unless you’re allergic to laughing.” —Kristen Bell “If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.” —Christian Lander, New York Times bestselling author of Stuff White People Like Tuesdays with Morrie meets F My Life in this hilarious book about a son’s relationship with his foul-mouthed father by the 29-year-old comedy writer who created the massively popular Twitter feed of the same name.

More Shit My Dad Says

Author : Justin Halpern
ISBN : 9781447248958
Genre : Humor
File Size : 73. 5 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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‘Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a sh*tload scarier’ Sam Halpern Soon after Sh*t My Dad Says began to take off, comic writer Justin Halpern decided to take the plunge and propose to his then girlfriend. But before doing so, he asked his dad's advice, which was very, very simple (and surprisingly clean): 'Just take a day to think about it.' This book is the story of that trip down memory lane, a toe-curlingly honest pilgrim’s progress of teenage relationships, sex and love by one of the funniest writers at work today. Sh*t people say about Justin Halpern: ‘Ridiculously hilarious’ Chelsea Handler ‘Shoot-beer-out-your-nose funny’ Maxim ‘Funny, silly, honest, lively and fresh’ Sunday Times

Shit My Dad Says

Author : Justin Halpern
ISBN : 0752227408
Genre : Adult children
File Size : 28. 51 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
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'At 28 years old, I found myself living at home, with my 73-year-old father. As a child, my father never minced words, and when I screwed up, he had a way of cutting right through the bullshit and pointing out exactly why I was being an idiot. When I moved back in I was still, for the most part, an idiot. But this time, I was smart enough to write down all the things he said to me…' Meet Justin Halpern and his dad. Almost one million people follow Mr Halpern’s philosophical musings every day on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his sayings. What emerges is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father and son relationship from a major new comic voice. As Justin says at one point, his dad is ‘like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair’; and this is the sort of shit he says… ‘You know, sometimes it’s nice having you around. But now ain’t one of those times. Now gimmie the remote, we’re not watching this bullshit.’ ‘Happy Birthday, I didn’t get you a present… Oh, mom got you one? Well, that’s from me then, too – unless it’s shitty.’ ‘Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn’t stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down.’ ‘The worst thing you can be is a liar . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2.’ ‘Why the f**k would I want to live to 100? I’m 73 and shit’s starting to get boring. By the way, there’s no money left when I go, just fyi.’

Shit My Dad Says

Author : Justin Halpern
ISBN : 1447200810
Genre : American wit and humor
File Size : 75. 83 MB
Format : PDF, Docs
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The international bestseller and Twitter sensation: a brilliant new comic voice, and a 100% real father-son relationship that lies somewhere between Curb Your Enthusiasm and The Wonder Years..."At 28 years old, I found myself living at home, with my 73-year-old father. As a child, my father never minced words, and when I screwed up, he had a way of cutting right through the bullshit and pointing out exactly why I was being an idiot. When I moved back in I was still, for the most part, an idiot. But this time, I was smart enough to write down all the things he said to me…"Meet Justin Halpern and his dad. Almost 1.5 million people follow Mr Halpern's philosophical musings every day on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his sayings. What emerges is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father and son relationship from a major new comic voice. As Justin says at one point, his dad is 'like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair'; and this is the sort of shit he says..."You know, sometimes it's nice having you around. But now ain't one of those times. Now gimmie the remote, we're not watching this bullshit.""Happy Birthday, I didn't get you a present... Oh, mom got you one? Well, that's from me then, too - unless it's shitty."

I Suck At Girls

Author : Justin Halpern
ISBN : 9780062113382
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 86. 69 MB
Format : PDF
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From the #1 New York Times bestseller author of Sh*t My Dad Says, Justin Halpern, comes a laugh-out-loud funny and deeply touching collection of personal stories about relationships with the opposite sex, from a first kiss to getting engaged and all the awkward moments in between. With Sh*t My Dad Says, Halpern brought his brand of talented comedic writing to the world. Now, with this equally poignant, hilarious, and provocative memoir, he establishes himself as one of popular writing’s great humorists among the likes of David Sedaris, Sarah Vowell, and David Rakoff. Fans of biting, honor-infused memoirs such as Me Talk Pretty One Day and Assassination Vacation will find Halpern’s I Suck at Girls an unforgettable journey into the best and worst moments of one man’s adventures in romance.

A Far Piece To Canaan

Author : Sam Halpern
ISBN : 9780062233189
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 68. 84 MB
Format : PDF
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A Far Piece to Canaan is a warm and nostalgic novel from an unexpected source: Sam Halpern, whose salty paternal wisdom made Justin Halpern’s Sh*t My Dad Says a phenomenal bestseller. Inspired by Sam Halpern’s childhood in rural Kentucky, A Far Piece to Canaan tells the story of Samuel Zelinsky, a celebrated but troubled former professor who reluctantly returns after his wife’s death to the Kentucky hills where he lived as a child to reconnect with long-buried memories and make good on a forgotten promise. A tale of superstition, secrets, and heroism in the postwar South, A Far Piece to Canaan: A Novel of Friendship and Redemption is the surprising and moving debut of a gifted storyteller.

Honey Badger Don T Care

Author : Randall
ISBN : 9781449419622
Genre : Humor
File Size : 68. 46 MB
Format : PDF
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Never before has wildlife narration been this bold and this hilarious. More than 40 million people have viewed Randall’s honey badger video, “The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger.” “It has no regard for anyone or anything—it just takes what it wants! What a little badass!” When viewing wildlife footage, who hasn’t thought at times, “Ewww! What the hell is that?!” Randall thinks it — and says so! In Honey Badger Don’t Care, Randall examines and humorously informs on a dozen crazy, nasty animals of the wild kingdom employing his unique style of telling it like it is! His wildlife writing is refreshingly honest. If an animal scares Randall, he’s not afraid to share. Unlike most nature writers, Randall doesn’t deliver the sugarcoated or drab description. He “goes there” and shares his true feelings with his audience. Because of this, his readers feel that they can relate. Randall loves animals—even the ones that terrify him. He may not agree with how these animals conduct themselves in the world, but Randall wants everyone to know who they are. Just as he introduced the world to the honey badger, the Jesus lizard, and others, so will Randall shed light on twelve bizarre and interesting animals. Designed with callouts, sidebars, and more than fifty photos, Honey Badger Don’t Care presents a wildlife book for adults—hilarious, irreverent, profane, yet charming, chatty, and informative. Don’t be stupid—buy this book!

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